8 Reasons you should never, ever go rafting this spring.
Next week is the official start of the rafting season on the Upper Pigeon River! Spring and we have more people than ever signing up to try it out! We aren’t sure what they’re thinking, so we wanted to show all you newbies why you should never, ever, go rafting.
Getting there is a hassle.
Pristine national forests and roads less traveled? No one needs that much peace and quiet.
You may get wet.
Springtime brings flowers back to the forest and a variety of water levels to the Pigeon River. The class rapids can be between a calm class 2 float trip to a thrilling class 4 trip and the levels change daily. How are you going to know if you’re going to get wet or not? Sorry, amazing adventure. I’ll stay home.
You never know what you’re going to get.
Summer brings a dammed water-release schedule to the pigeon river, but in the spring it’s so unpredictable! Forget the water, even the weather is can’t be trusted! One day it’s 70 degrees, the next it’s snowing. Nope. Not for me.
You’ll have to travel elsewhere for even more fun things to do.
You’re telling me I have to go to Asheville, NC, Knoxville, Gatlinburg, Sevierville, or Pigeon Forge to keep the party going? And they’re all less than an hour away? UGH, CHOICES. (Psst, but if you have a group and decide YOU want to go, we have group discounts.)
You may be Too Late for the Power House.
Like, what if they turn the river off? But some of the other rapids, like After Shave, Razor Burn, Vegematic, Lost Guide, Double Reactionary, and Accelerator *might* be available. Like, if you still even want class III and class IV rapids after the Too Late and Power House rapids fiasco.
You’ll be on the water for at least two hours.
More time if you choose to swim in a calmer river section, see interesting wildlife or get stuck talking to the other interesting people on your trip. Just think of how many sunscreen applications you’ll need or how prune-y you’ll get in two hours!
You’ll be stuck hanging out with people you don’t know.
If someone else asks me what I do for a living or if I like hummus one more time… I just might lose it. Does no one appreciate quiet time any more? No, I will NOT add you on Facebook to share those great trip photos and I certainly do NOT want to go on another epic rafting trip with you. Good day, sir and madam, I said, GOOD DAY!
You’ll have to come to East Tennessee.
Home of the Great Smoky Mountains, The Tennessee Vols and Dollywood, East Tennessee is one of those best-kept-secrets that should probably stay secret. Like, no one should be able to visit the birthplace of country music and have access to more than 3,800 documented caves in one place. Who wants access to all this “nature”? Who wants to learn about the 16th state’s fascinating history, including East Tennessee’s stint as it’s own breakaway-state? Not me!
Well, if you still aren’t convinced that you absolutely shouldn’t ever come to this beautiful place, you can book your reservation with us online! We promise you’ll have the time of your life! Remember to bring your sense of adventure, and we’ll see you around the Outpost.